5:55

by Monique - 11/12/12 4:44 AM

I have typo phobia (a fear of holes). Supposedly this phobia turns up when it is triggered by something subconsciously and recently it's been driving me nuts. In addition to this seeing disgusting asymmetrical holes everywhere, I built-up anxiety I've been coping with for the last week or so.
Today I tried to focus on my pain and instinctively I've felt that the holes are a deep rooted connection to something big in my life leaving or missing; something going that i will never get back. Overall the change coming feels...bad.
For some reason my younger sister popped in my head tonight. She is the one person in my life that I cannot cope without. I began to see circles and holes as I closed my eyes and thought about her, and how much she means to me and what become of me to lose her. I began crying uncontrollably and felt a pain in me that I have never felt before. I felt a very realistic earth bounding awareness of what my life means with her in it. I fell to my knees and prayed for God to not take her (as I have come to the conclusion that the only result of my typo phobia could be derived from loosing something or someone so personal to affect me on this deep a level).
I more or less screamed at God to take me and not her,
I finally pried myself from the floor and walked across my room. As I did this I glanced at my clock.
It read 5:55.
I uttered the words, "This has to mean something", and shortly after I found this website. God herd me tonight, and I do not know if life is going to work out in my favor, but I know that a higher power was working in awareness. And if 555 is Devine, I am happy for the comfort.

No Replies Post a Reply