I need help/advice

Its been long now, long time that I see the number 117, i will see it everywhere. And Im tired of it. I lost my faith in God do to people. I try to read the Bible, but I realy have difficutly to understand why. Why does things happen to me like it does, and still I see the number 117 every time. Let me give you an idea of my life. I was born 1986 August 15. My parents loved me very much, but my father didnt realy liked me. I end up losing my whole business in 2012, and Im not realy a person people like to stick with. People put me aside, not for what I say or do, people just dont want to mix with me. I have no friends, never had a woman in my life. For instance when I go to public places there will alway be at least 1meter distance from me and other people. Lets asume that I go to a place like a bar, and I will go sit by people, people will get up, one by one, and leave me alone sitting by myself. If I go to a restuarant people will always have phisical distance with me. I get bullied every day, by peoples remarks. Its been like this for my whole life now. I cant seem to keep a job for longer that 3 months, and I had more than 70 jobs since I finished school 2005. My life is not fun. Infact I dont know what fun is. I have not transport or income, I life in a abandoned building. Its very funny, and still it seems like 117 is to let me know that I am on the right path? Yeah right. I have been religous in my teens, never did bad stuff, I also never went through a rebel stage. I am kind and have good manars. I realy lost hope. But still there is a voice inside me that says "before I kill myself, I must just hold on because it will be very interesting to see how everything is going to end. I got a dream in Januray 2015, from someone I loved that things are surely going to change soon. Now the question is, must I go sit on a rock and wait for everything to pass? If I say I have no friends, I mean I have no friends, if I say I have no family it means I realy have not one family member left that treat me with dignity and care.

The number 117 realy realy realy is upsetting me. I have no one to live for exept myself, and I also have nothing. It made me wonder if a persons value consist for what he/she is? or what that person have. I know where life in a very materialistic world in this age. But wowey, what must I do? I have something that I am going to do that would make me more independant, the problem is that I know that people would flock with me because they will see I have become successfull. Like a bunch of sheep flocking for hay.

If there is anyone out there that knows what the number 117 means. Please email me to tel me what I must do. I really need advice. I went through this whole blog, and still there is no answer? Is there a answer?

Regards
Fanie

16 Replies: Post a Reply