34

by Avery - 1/27/18 12:53 PM

I've been seeing the number 34 for a while now. I'm 20 years old and I have been seeing it I want to say since I was about 17 years old. It first started when I went down a path in life that I didn't think I ever would. My best friend from high school started me smoking weed (that pretty much all I've ever done, nothing harder than that) and leading just a very boring and degrading lifestyle. I remember it very significantly. There was a period of about a week where every night I would walk into my house and I would look at the stove and it would be 12:34 a.m. Now, being high off my ass each time, I wasn't leaving at the same time of purpose, I wouldn't even look at my phone before I left her house, I would just walk in and see it. A few of these times I wouldn't look at the clock when I first got home. I would do a few things first like say hi to my cat, use the bathroom or just random other things, and then walk into the kitchen and there it would be, 12:34 on the clock. It started to become more and more frequent - and I began to see a pattern in it. The only times I would ever experience an epiphany or a spiritual experience would be when I was high, and it would move me so much that it would make me emotional. Always when I had these sort of 'realisations' I would look at the clock and it would have _:34. This has gone on for about 2 years now. I finally stopped my dead end lifestyle and have picked up my feet at University after failing for about 3 semesters. Through this entire 2 year period I have continued to see it. What solidifies to me that it isn't someone just out of coincidence is that one phone call recently between me and my mom (who is honestly my best friend) I told her about how often I see the number. She was wowed and admitted to me that she thinks about it a lot too - for example, she sees it, and it's the number she plays on the lottery. She sees it all the time just like I do.

I'm a pretty heavy thinker, and although I don't have all the answers to it I want to share with y'all what I think it means.

Like I said above, I mainly saw it when I would have a realisation - for example, driving home at night, high, after spending some time hanging out with my friend, I would have a conversation with myself. It would include a sort of deprecating narrative about how my actions are ruining my life. I would even say OUTLOUD "I bet it'll be 11:34 when I look at the clock". It was. 11:34. My car has a display that I turn off at night because the light bothers me, so I cannot see the time unless I adjust the volume. One of my theories is that it actually IS GOD trying to communicate with you, and help you realise wrong doings in your life and help you correct them by recognising when you do it.

Another pattern I see has to do with my sexuality. I'm a gay man. I never wanted to be gay, I even tried dating girls, but nothing really changed. I was born in Bermuda but grew up in Georgia, so it was always hard no matter where I went trying to hide it. I have always struggled with it. I've never engaged in any sexual behavior that I wanted to - it was all either sexual assault or peer pressure and there has not been a situation to this date that I don't regret. When I was 19, I dated a man who was considerably older than me. It did not last long, but this is when I really started to see 34. In almost everything I did I could relate 34 to everything. His name, the kind of car he drove, the times I would see him, the times we were together, the number was absolutely everywhere. The most defining thing about the whole relationship was how it ended. He ended the relationship because, being a Christian and continuously struggling with his sexuality like I have, he said in the end he would rather please God and not lead a homosexual lifestyle than to be in a relationship with a man. I think God made this happen to me for a reason. I think He understands how I feel about my sexuality to begin with. Whenever I see something about homosexuality, transsexuality, or anything relating to a deviant sense of sexuality I see the number 34.

Many times in my life I have felt the presence of God. Not so much in a tangible way, but more of an outward perspective. Taking a look at my life, for someone who truly understands me like my mom, we both recognise that the things I've been given in way of my personality, my blessings such as where I was born, and events in my life create a clear and concise way of thinking as to how to live my life. Put more simply, I don't think things happen by mistake. If you truly believe in God, then He will make sure to lead you in the right direction, which is what I think the number 34 means.

As I finish typing this, the battery percentage on my laptop is 43%.

Tell me what you guys think.

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