number meaning 77 78 777 333 444 555 666 777 37 888 999 111 23 420 resolved

by Vin - 10/26/13 9:18 PM

All these numbers do not have any meaning, we provide them. Its we who define and classify things, events, relations, emotions, nature and in this case number. It took me 7 bleeding years to figure it out, I still see them.
If it could mean something than it means, a very strong desire of one's mind.
I was in love with one girl for 4 years, but since most of the times I was out of the country I could not express my love. Thinking I will once I am back. So I returned after 4 years to get settle down, to express my love, to marry my best friend.
But unfortunately I was 5 months late, she was committed with someone else by now. For a while I was not even able to understand the meaning of her words. I started analyzing those words in my mind, to arrive at a solution which says I love you too. But it never happened. I was about to collapse. Like the part of our body I had made my mind believe that she is part of my own body.
She still is the only key of my mind and body, if she asks me to come back I would have come back even after my death. So much love.
I started having difficulty in sleeping, in understanding, I used to keep on crying whole night ALONE.
I never was afraid of death and would have died but my mom and sister for them I dragged myself like a blind promise I have made to them that I will be there, so I lived. I wish I'd have died. But it never mattered what I like, but at all costs that promise has to be fulfilled.
I became crazy, though there wasn't anyone's fault. But I still miss my best friend, I walked 12 kms. to her home and from outside I just kept watching her window. But couldn't catch even a glimpse. I started praying to god. Used to go to temple in early morning and late night every day to pray to say that give me my friend back.
I always got stopped in the middle while praying and asking give her to me. I ended up saying keep her happy and content. I knew she loved him. So how could she be happy if someone drives her away from him. So everyday I tried to say but could not complete my prayer. Thinking today no matter what I will ask to come back.
But it never happened, my own mind and body refused to think or do even a slightest ill for her.
So I had to leave, but I started seeing numbers, 7877, signs that she can be back. But very recently I found out that it was last 4 of her mobile number. Because I could not live without her so my mind created an alternative, I became more and more deep thinker. This ability earned me reputation of Problem Solver may it be anything but same ability started analyzing, when she said no she how she was behaving was she telling the truth? or Hiding her feeling because she had already said yes to someone.
I learned a lot, history, philosophy, maths, physics, chemistry, social science, literature, arts almost whatever I could get to understand the world and why I lost when I was earning more, she was my best friend, I was too for her, I was good looking and handsome comparatively but found nothing.
I found that, the way I think world doesn't run that way. I still see those numbers on number plates, houses, book pages, my clock.
Its easy to say let go, But how many are able to take axe and cut their own hand because its not functional any more. I did that. She is everything to me. Invisible but most essential, part of my body. If I cut her off I will loose my own meaning. I have, I have lost my meaning. But I had to, it was easier for me to live my life with her handful of blurred memories. I get calm hearing her name.
But I have chosen not to ignore.
In the process I have seen hell, heaven, deep trenches, endless question and interpretations. But the ground reality is she is GONE.
My ears still want to hear that familiar voice. Same voice which is mine. My home. The safest place on world. Just a whisper.
But I know I can never get to see her again. I will never share any stories with my friend again.
I hope that guy would have some respect for our relationship. If he'd have step aside. Or if he had let me be her friend even now.

I still feel she loved me. But it doesn't matter anymore. So much time have passed. I also do not want to confront her with my empty life filled with numbers, interpretations, memories. She would be sad. So I hope she never see me again and have a life I once dreamed about. I hope she gets busy. I hope she becomes a mother and enjoy motherhood. Every good of life.

I was never wrong, Unlucky may be, yet I lost my life...

I find it hard to say same words to anyone else. I am planning to get married but I don't know how much love will I able to offer?

But I am learning to let go. To rip off those days from my life. And don't wander around to find meaning of numbers, dreams and events.

Always remember "Destiny is nothing but is all about making different choices..."

Now stop searching life let life come to you. Allow yourself to get back on your feet over and over and over until you do it right. Learn but don't regret or stop....

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